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I get up three or four times throughout a meal. Up for juice. Up to get a spoon. Up to get someone seconds. Up to clear. So during this week by chat myself, chat I have instead attempted to have a staring contest with my dinner. The longer that 20 percent stays on my plate, the longer I get to sit quietly and luxuriate in my new time alone. Technically, I'm not finished. When Conrad calls for me to come play with him from chat the living room, I call back to him, "Sorry, darling, Mommy's not done eating yet," and I give myself a gift of five more minutes. I think about my mom and how much she misses her mother. Thinking about that makes me want to comfort myself with some warm penne à la vodka from the local Italian grocer. It's hard not to devour an entire plate, since I've waited all day for a good meal. The battle of wills begins: I squirm while the penne sits there patiently, waiting for me to break down.
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